


Share Or Shaft?

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Have I Got News For You RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-17
Updated: 2004-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-25 01:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1624523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story by skitz</p><p>Angus finds out about the winning rule but Paul and Ian soon stop his fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Share Or Shaft?

 

 

"In a way, it's our fault," Paul conceded and the audience erupted in laughter.

Ian joined in the hysterics, shooting a sly off camera wink in Paul's direction.

And at that precise moment, Angus could've happily thumped them both.

~~~

"Truth or dare?" Ian asked, juggling the dice in his hand.

"Ohh, truth, I suppose," Paul reluctantly chose.

Ian rolled the dice, raising an eyebrow at the score. "One and a five," he announced with glee.

"We've got a six, have we?" Angus observed, walking into the room.

Ian and Paul looked over at him, shock adorning their features.

"You really should learn to lock your dressing room, Paul," Angus smiled, sitting down next to them. "Who's up?"

"Paul," Ian said, shoulders slumped.

"Great," Angus smiled.

~~~

"I knew that would happen," Ian muttered as they exited the studios.

Paul shrugged apologetically. "I'm sorry."

"You said you'd locked your door," Ian continued.

"I thought I had."

Ian shook his head as he unlocked his car. "I'll see you next week."

~~~

"Ok," Paul said, rubbing his hands together. "I won-"

"-no change there then," Ian grumbled. "You've let Angus in on it."

"I haven't!"

"You have," Ian insisted, his eyebrows lowering. "He totally ignored my answer and when you repeated what I said, he grinned and gave you **five** points for it!" Ian crossed his arms. "One point, maybe, if he was just being off with me tonight - but five? Five? How is that fair? How am I meant to catch up five?"

Paul sighed. "I didn't ask Angus for any favours."

"Well no, considering what you did to him last week when he barged his way in here," Ian started, his voice rising, "I shouldn't imagine that you'd have to ask him for any favours!"

Paul slat the dice down on the dressing table. "Shall we just call it quits tonight?"

Ian looked away, his bottom lip poking out.

"Come on," Paul urged, "you shouldn't let Angoo bother you."

Ian half smiled, in spite of himself. "No," he agreed, allowing Paul's warm hand to envelope his own.

~~~

Ian listened intently as the theme tune crashed around the studio, nervously fiddling with his biro as the lights rose.

Paul smiled at him as Angus reeled out the introduction to the show and his fluttering nerves began to calm.

"Ian?" Angus asked.

"It's got to be Hague," Ian responded, the tirade he'd half composed in the shower against the leader of the Conservatives easily coming to his tongue. "He was seen in Halifax this weekend and," he giggled, looking over at Paul who was pretending to snore at him, "he was leaning on Blair's policy about..."

Paul grinned as Ian's rant gathered momentum, knowing the camera had kept off him, keeping his joke between himself, Ian and the well, studio audience. But since when had they ever noticed anything? He leant forward in his chair as Angus turned to him.

"Paul?"

Paul shrugged. "Haven't got a clue."

"Sorry?"

He grinned at Ian. "I haven't read the papers this week," he announced, happily. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of anger flicker across Angus' features but the beaming grin across Ian's put paid to any doubts he may have had about his bold statement. "But I'll have a go. Parrots?"

~~~

"Congratulations," Paul grinned, kissing Ian as he entered his dressing room.

"Thanks," Ian said, perching on the sofa opposite him. "But if we're going to, y'know, tonight..." He trailed off.

"Yes?" Paul prompted.

Ian pulled a coin out of his wallet. "We should flip for it."

Paul smiled as Ian flicked the coin into the air. "Heads."

"Tails it is," Ian said, wincing slightly. "Bad luck."

Paul grinned. "No, I don't think so. Truth or dare, Ian?" he asked, brandishing the dice.

~~~

"What was that all about last week?" Angus whispered to Paul as they were lined up to enter the studio.

"Sorry?"

"Last week," Angus repeated. "All that 'I haven't read the papers' nonsense."

"I hadn't."

"You always read the papers," Angus pointed out. "You like to _win_."

Paul shook his head. "There's a lot to the winning rule," he clarified. "And sometimes, I like to lose."

~~~

Impatiently, Angus rapped on the door.

"Yes?" Paul answered, poking his head around.

"Can I come in?"

"No," Paul responded, flashing a smile at him. "I lost, don't you know."

Angus sighed. "I did allocate the points, Paul."

Ian let out a groan from inside the dressing room. "Did you meddle again tonight?" he asked, voice laced with exasperation.

"Paul said he liked to lose sometimes!" Angus defended himself entering the room, raising an eyebrow at Ian's state of undress.

"We were rather busy," Paul started.

"Wait," Ian interrupted, "he said what?"

"Nothing," Paul shot back. "Look, Angus is just leaving."

Ian dragged his discarded shirt back on. "I think maybe he should stay."

~~~

"So you want me to..?" Angus swallowed hard.

Ian nodded and Paul smiled broadly.

"That's the initiation," he pointed out. "You either take it or leave it."

Angus shook his head as he stood up. "You, Merton," he warned, "might never get any points after this."

Paul laughed as Angus left. "Oh, I rather think I might."

~~~

"Oooh," Ian whistled as Angus walked into the building.

"You've got a nerve," Paul laughed, "showing your face here. Are you sure you've still got a job?"

Angus' eye twitched as he straightened his tie. "Can't we just leave it out?"

Ian patted his shoulder. "Sorry."

"Me too," Paul added.

"I just can't believe you got caught doing our initiation," Ian giggled.

"But we didn't say anything about cocaine, to be fair," Paul chipped in.

"No, that was a nice touch."

Paul giggled. "Apparently that's what she said!"

Angus pressed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "Please, can we stop this?" He breathed in deeply. "I've got to go and sit out there and no doubt take this from all of the panel anyway."

Paul and Ian solemnly nodded. "We'll behave."

"Cheers," Angus smiled. "I owe you one," he said, as he walked into the studio."

As he left, Ian fished out the newspaper he'd concealed beneath his jacket. "Well, that sounds promising," he laughed, "because this girl here says he can go all night."

Paul laughed and kissed Ian firmly on the lips before they walked out onto the set, newspaper hidden back inside Ian's neatly pressed suit, Paul's blue jacket zipped up high.

Tonight, Angus might just find himself being shafted.

 


End file.
